Morgan Burton September 07,2013
AP English Language 1B
Homework for the Holiday :
Vocabulary Diagnostic: On separate sheet of paper .
Blog Post :
Strongest Essay :
In my opinion the strongest essay from the timed essay prompt on Brian Greene’s The Hidden Reality was student 76. They started their essay off with an introduction that was powerful and immediately stated three devices the author portrayed throughout his paper. during this student’s paper they constantly referred back to the text to support their argument , used descriptive details and kept there paragraphs organized.
Weakest Essay :
The weakest essay by far was student 7. Their essay was remarkably unorganized and didn’t follow the criteria asked of them in the directions. They had many grammatical errors that were difficult to comprehend. The prompt asked to convey different devices used in the introduction of The Hidden Reality but instead the student focused on the meaning of “the universe”
Strongest Introduction :
The strongest introduction was student 15. Their introduction was tastefully done, they started the essay off with a general question we all as individuals have thought of over time. Eventually he made a reference to Brian Greene’s book The Hidden Reality and how it covers all the questions we have and discusses these arguments by using the devices such as specific questioning, personification, and senses of imagery.
Best quote integration :
The best quote integration was student 18. Every idea the student mentioned in their essay he referred by to Brian Greene’s essay.
Essay with the best thorough analysis :
After reading all 76 of these students written essay, you start to repeatedly reread the same introductory paragraph , same exact quote and literary device examples. But not many essays sounded like they thoroughly understood what they read and the meaning of The Hidden Reality by Brian Greene, except for student 21. This essay was well written and organized. This student was able to read this text and interpret back into a descriptive and comprehensible essay. This student quoted the text, but summarize the meaning of the context in a descriptive manner that an individual that who hasn't read the text could get a clear understanding of what the text is about.
Three essays that misunderstood the prompt (personal influence)
The three essays that misunderstood the prompt was student 9,11, and 67. These essays didn’t completely follow all of the criteria asked of them in the prompt. In their essays they incorporated their own personal opinions and feelings about the topic into the essay. Essay 67 and 9 were fairly written paper but they made the mistake of including their opinion of the meaning of the universe into it.
Most academic vocabulary :
The essay with the most academic vocabulary was student 48. Throughout their essay they used many elaborate and descriptive words. There choice of words made their paper seem more organized and mature. Using such intellectual vocabulary word let the reader, know the author was a confident writer and could express him or herself properly.
Strongest clearest grammar :
The essay with the clearest grammar was student 76. In my opinion this essay was also the strongest essay. This paper was accessible to read, comprehensible and systematized. There was choice of punctuation, and use of vocabulary played a key role in making their essay so successful.
Chronological order :
Student 26 had the best essay that portrayed chronological order. They mention every time the author introduced a new term , definition , or topic in the essay.
Analysis :
In the essay The Singer Solution to World Poverty by Peter Singer, he introduces two hypothetical situations to the reader. The first dilemma started with Dora. She was in which a hard working woman who worked everyday to make ends meet by sitting at a the station writing letters for illiterate people. She was giving the opportunity of a lifetime to quickly make 1,000 dollars. Dora’s task was fairly simple. She had to convince a nine year old homeless boy to follow her to an address given to her. Dora succeeded with the plan , she received her reward and went to purchase a television. Time had passed and Dora was informed that the young boy she sold off to buy her new television set would mostly be killed and his organs sold for transplantation. The purpose of incorporating this example is so we can prevent such horrifying events from happening by simply sacrificing our material comfort, because it isn't merely valuable or important as the life of a child.
The second hypothetical situation Peter Singer mentioned involved Bob. He invested his life savings into buying a Bugatti, which he hasn’t be able to insure. He always had the mentality that if the market continues to rise , he would to be able to sell the car and live a stable life after retirement. One day Bob takes his car out for a drive and parks the car on the side of the train tracks. In the distant Bob sees a young child playing on the railroad tracks in a path of a runaway train. Bob had the chance of saving the child's life and using a nearby switch to divert the train onto the sliding. But instead Bob chooses to let the child die and not sacrifice his precious car to get damaged. In the eyes of Peter Singer he believed Bob was at complete fault for the death of the young child. He could have prevented the child’s death by sacrificing his Bugatti. By choosing his car, over avoiding the death of someone else, you can conclude that materialistic things means everything to Bob. The message Singer is trying to portray by utilizing Bob not sacrificing his Bugatti for the life of a child is that we all have the opportunity of saving children s life. By donating approximately 200 dollars a month to organizations such as Unicef we could assist a young child dying from starvation.
The audience could connect to this essay written by Peter Singer, because no individual likes to see a young innocent child suffer from situations they didn’t necessarily make happen or wish upon themselves ,which is extremely unfortunate. The author used the literary device of pathos in this passage to create a emotional response with the audience. The emotional sensitivity occurred with the starving children and both the children used in the examples died. The author wanted the reader to feel a sense of guilt for the death of the children and reevaluate our decisions of buying luxurious items instead of trying to make a change in a person’s life less fortunate. Logos was also applied into this essay. Singer used this device by influencing readers to act upon his argument. He uses logos to convince the audience that we use our income to pay for our necessities and splurge on luxury items and entertainment rather than choosing to help a needy child overseas. Singer mentions that there are hundreds of million of people that can financially afford to donate 200 dollars to aid overseas organizations, but are frankly not doing it. The last device Singer uses in his essay The Singer Solution to World Poverty is ethos. Ethos was the appeal to make a difference and end world poverty. He used statistics to demonstrate how simple it would be for each class to donate a certain amount of money.
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